When I was a kid, I loved horses more than anything in the world. I had ponies of my own, but dreamed of having a show horse. In the beginning, I was hooked on Saddlebreds. My grandparents had a box at the World Championship Horse Show at the Kentucky State Fair every year. I watched those horses and pictured myself riding in a show like that. My grandmother had an old Saddlebred she bought for us girls, but Daisy was no where near that quality. Still, I could dream.
Then I grew up and went to nursing school. I was pregnant with Mike when Goldie, my palomino pony, finally died. She was to be the last horse I had until we moved here to the farm twenty years ago. After building the barn and the fence, I bought a Quarter Horse gelding named Wolfbarry from one of the doctors at the hospital. He was big, bullheaded, wouldn't walk (jogged constantly), but he could fly. I took him on a trail ride with Sam the day before he got colic. Bud was on an aircraft carrier coming back from Hawaii at the time. I was home alone with two small children and a dying horse.
The vet didn't offer much hope, but he did what he could. I spent half the night out there with Wolfie, going back to the house to get blankets and such. He died the next morning while I was at the house on the phone trying to find someone who could save him.
Somewhere along the line, I got bitten by the dressage bug, and decided I wanted to breed warmbloods. These are the big beautiful horses you see competing in the Olympics. Wildly expensive, most are European breeds derived from crossing draft horses with thoroughbreds. I decided I wanted to breed an American Warmblood, for a much lower price. But to do this, I needed a mare.
I wanted a Shire/Thoroughbred cross, so I went to a sale at a Shire farm in Illinois and bought a two month old black filly. I had her shipped here when she was four months old and named her Kira. She was big and rambunctious, but I loved her to pieces. Most of my chronic aches and pains came about as a result of training her, but to this day, I've never ridden a horse that felt better beneath my saddle than she did. After I began breeding her, I pretty much quit riding her, but she was still my pride and joy. When some Amish builders were adding the foaling stall to my barn, I led her out and the old Amish man smiled. "That's a nice mare," he said.
My black filly gradually turned gray. At three, she was the prettiest thing you've ever seen; a dark dappled gray. A few years later, she was more white than black; what's called a flea-bitten gray.
Kira had four pregnancies. I remember walking up to the barn when she was in labor for the first time. She was lying down out in the field, but when she saw me, she raised her head and yelled, "HELP ME!" I got her back to the barn and together we delivered a chestnut filly I named Jadzia.
I bred her back to the same stallion a year later, but this time she had twins. Horses don't carry twins very well, and she miscarried at nine months (a horse's gestation period is 11 months). It was heartbreaking, but after that, I bred her twice more to two different Thoroughbred stallions and got Arwen and Damar.
She had a bout or two of colic in her life, but always came through it just fine. She colicked again on Monday. I had the vet out on Monday evening. He did what he could, and said her chances of survival were "fair." All I could think about was the way Wolfie died. I did not have good feelings. We gave her pain meds and pumped her full of mineral oil. Tuesday night, she seemed better, and when I saw her Wednesday morning, she was trotting into the barn. Unfortunately, it took what little strength she had left and she died at 9:10 AM.
Kira was always the matriarch. Always first in the barn and always keeping the others in line. She was my dream horse, and now she's gone. I know I don't have as much time to spend with my horses as I used to, but I'll miss her voice, her huge feet, and the way her white tail used to sparkle after I gave her a bath.
She was with me for sixteen years. I feel like I just lost one of my best friends.
That's because I did.
